Nothing else I can do

He just reached home at 4am after meeting with his boss at somewhere else. In fact, I was still not believed on the reason he gave me. As I say, nothing I can do. We hang up the phone after greeting each other a good night sleep. Suddenly, my phone rang at 5:49am with my message ringtone. I took it up and read through the message which was sent by him as I thought he had already felt asleep. It was absolutely sweet because he would miss me when he couldn’t get into his dream. At the same time, it changed my mind on what I was thinking just now was wrong and also this reminded me that I am still an important role inside his heart. I trust he was really met his boss just now but not other and also, I’m the only one for him!

Believe it or not?!

Lies? Affairs?

Look at the time now..

it's already early in the morning..

Christmas is over...

And also, I'm listening “it's over”..

I had been waiting for u the whole day and the whole night even a few days.

There are too many “unexpected” things happened suddenly.

I felt so disappointed on it

but

what I can do is- listen, wait and support.

The fact has placed in front of me; do I know what I am going to do?
I guess I know it clearly…..
Yes, I admit that I was so afraid and frustrated on this.

Should I be faithful to this relationship? Take it seriously? I...I don't even know. You’ve run out the reasons, given me a lot of excuses. I didn’t know whether it is true but finally I get the answer after observing by myself. I know I had already lost my trust on you. But, I’m still beside you and act nothing because I want to get back the one I want! This is so unfair to me so I must be the winner!

Because I want you and your heart always be there for me!!

If you're having an affair, I can forgive everything on what you've done if you tell me honestly.
At least, I'm not cheated and not buried inside the fact.
People will feel sympathy on my stupidity, but you have to know, this is the only way that I can stay beside you.

I will not let my heart open.

Beautiful lies, unbelievable, sweet talks, disappointed, unexpected are always there and perhaps, I can handle it.

I'm not that type to get my heart broken and also not that fragile to let my tears drown.

I hate myself.

Hate myself that why I figured out these?

Everything would be ok if I didn't know everything and just be the usual.

I used to be a faithful girl but in the end, I got have nothing, nothing at all!

I used to have an affair before, and then I get this revenge.

I know I were the bad girl before, and now I got all the symptoms!

Something reminded me;

I would still be the same and stay beside you because I know time can heal it..

I would turn a blind eyes on this...

Am I already been frozen in our relationship?!

When is my deadline?!

* sorry if I misunderstood you..

Once Before I Go

Due to the changes of my attitude and personality, it has actually impact my life a lot. I've chosen another way that is more challenging than before. I've given up a good thing and decided to choose another new thing as I don't even know the background and the future. I know we cannot predict what would happen in our future but at least we can slightly know what we're going to do on the next step.I've to be responsible for the way that I've chose so I would not let myself to feel any guiltiness and regretful.

Anyway,I hope I can get it right since I involve myself in this "gamble"!

Here's I am a- REALIST.