I would like to blog here to express myself tho’, express my boringness on reading “nothing special” subject, memorizing those “useless for your future” stuff.
Anyhow, the main purpose is to post my actual thinking for today…
Something happened today as usual, yet I realized that I’m sick on it aaagggaaaiiinn. My satisfaction has been declined and I can’t feel any passion on it anymore. I didn’t enjoy it at all as what I had done before. It was totally different feeling compare to last time that I did!!
"It seems lack of “something”, and the “thing” is actually didn’t exist since we started this."
At the beginning, I didn’t care about “it” because people always search for excitements. But now, I suddenly feel that “it” has become an essential on doing this.
Without “it”, the game is boring.
Without “it”, the game is meaningless.
Without “it”, the game is still a GAME.
Or should say something obvious, my playfulness has gone, I’m sick and bored on playing this, is it a time for me to find a stable life with a stable "him"? WOW~~ Sounds funny anyway~ LOL.
Anyhow, I don’t really think of it but the situation might look slightly alike, due to the incident that I dreamt for these several nights… The dreams were so real but in real life, it just too impossible. "The dreams' story weren’t same every time but the message to be delivered is obviously same. "
I guess, there would have some clues in the dream. It was a good dream honestly, but it just looks too unbelievable. I don’t know why, I just feel it is so impossible to be happened. Therefore,
I don’t give any expectation on it because I’ve locked my heart.
Stop entering in those relationship stuffs,
because I don’t know when I can learn how to love,
and
I don’t know when I can walk out the terror from being hurt.
I can only realize LOVE, if someday my love has been aroused.
Everything might have a change~
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